Nate Archibald: Stoner or Poser

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Gossip Wench here. Your one and only source into the scandalous opinions of two Gossip Girl enthusiasts. We all know that no one loves solving a mystery like yours truly. Today’s mystery: Nate Archibald and his strange pot-smoking habits. When Serena van der Woodsen was cooped up in the Vanderbilt country home in Montauk, Nate directed her to a years-old joint hidden in a copy of The Old Man and the Sea. If Nate really is a seasoned stoner, wouldn’t he know that weed doesn’t age like fine wine? And if he *is * the show’s resident pothead and heir to a political family’s fortune, why couldn’t he get his cousin Tripp Vanderbilt a better bong than this one? You may look the part, Nate Archibald, but we all know you’ll never be a real stoner. You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Wench.

Honey Mustard or Bust

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Spotted: Allison making use of every part of her latest Krazy Chicken order. Seems like she can make the leftover honey mustard stretch by putting it on a turkey sandwich. Do you think she was just too lazy to run to the bodega? Or did her bank account make the decision for her? The real question is: Who is she feeding it to? @DrummerBoy92 sent us the tip and reviewed, “It’s alright, I don’t really remember.” If you had to ask how many tenders she ordered, you probably don’t deserve to know.

You know you love me.

XOXO, Gossip Wench

An Overachiever Stumbles...

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Word around town is that Queen B recently quit her 9-5 to follow her dreams of rewriting the voice of Gossip Girl and drinking champagne in a candlelit bath. Has her shooting star come to a screeching halt? Or has she unlocked the secrets of living an elusive happy and healthy lifestyle? Whatever it is, Queen B makes it look like you can have your cake and eat it, too.

XOXO, Gossip Wench