Gossip Wench here. Your one and only source into the scandalous opinions of two Gossip Girl enthusiasts. We all know that no one loves solving a mystery like yours truly. Today’s mystery: Nate Archibald and his strange pot-smoking habits. When Serena van der Woodsen was cooped up in the Vanderbilt country home in Montauk, Nate directed her to a years-old joint hidden in a copy of The Old Man and the Sea. If Nate really is a seasoned stoner, wouldn’t he know that weed doesn’t age like fine wine? And if he *is * the show’s resident pothead and heir to a political family’s fortune, why couldn’t he get his cousin Tripp Vanderbilt a better bong than this one? You may look the part, Nate Archibald, but we all know you’ll never be a real stoner. You know you love me. XOXO, Gossip Wench.
Spotted: Allison making use of every part of her latest Krazy Chicken order. Seems like she can make the leftover honey mustard stretch by putting it on a turkey sandwich. Do you think she was just too lazy to run to the bodega? Or did her bank account make the decision for her? The real question is: Who is she feeding it to? @DrummerBoy92 sent us the tip and reviewed, “It’s alright, I don’t really remember.” If you had to ask how many tenders she ordered, you probably don’t deserve to know.
You know you love me.
XOXO, Gossip Wench
Word around town is that Queen B recently quit her 9-5 to follow her dreams of rewriting the voice of Gossip Girl and drinking champagne in a candlelit bath. Has her shooting star come to a screeching halt? Or has she unlocked the secrets of living an elusive happy and healthy lifestyle? Whatever it is, Queen B makes it look like you can have your cake and eat it, too.
XOXO, Gossip Wench
2 GIRLS 1 COVEN PROUDLY PRESENTS: GOSSIP WENCH
Your one and only source into the scandalous opinions and lives of two Brooklyn Gentrifiers and hardcore Gossip Girl fanatics.