I’ve always had a soft spot for office supplies. When I was allowed to buy something extra at the grocery store, I often skipped over the candy and ice cream to find a new gel pen or bedazzled notebook to add to my stash.
My collection was equal parts functional and novelty. Lisa Frank stickers, clear purple ruler, miniature stamps. All I needed was a basic pencil but I saved the quarters that didn’t fit in the Quarters of the United States to buy a grape scented pencil with 12 individual leads from the vending machine at Cici’s Pizza.
As an adult, I’ve narrowed down my supplies to those that serve more function than fun, but I’ve started another stash that reminds me of the proud delight I felt every time I opened my pencil bag. Since I stopped bumming hits of boyfriends’ bongs and friends’ one hitters, my collection of weed accouterment has warranted its own IKEA storage solution. When our landlord threatened to inspect our apartment to find the source of the smell of weed, I needed a whole damn tote bag to stash the evidence.
This stash is equal parts functional and for the hell of it and the more I think about it, the more I feel like I’ve just recreated my school supplies stash.
novelty stamps —> Raw cones
Creates an effect that is obviously too perfect to be done by hand. Exposes me as a hack of rolling joints and decorative marginalia. But sometimes, it doesn’t matter if it’s real, it only matters that it’s perfect.
4/5 koosh balls
Pink Pearl eraser —> single pipe cleaner
The most functional thing in the stash. Not very pretty, always dirty from pencil lead/weed residue, but indispensable. When accidentally forgotten at home or passed over for an eraser of the decorative type, it is always regretted.
5/5 Spools of Hemp Cord
Grape pencil with 12 leads —> G Pen vape
Infinitely renewable and used everyday. (One to save me trips to the pencil sharpener, another to save me from getting evicted.) Definitely better options out there, more efficient, less scented, but the rhythm of the finicky device comforts me. The sharpness of the lead dulls and my letters get thicker, the bud inside and the high it produces fades to charred nothing, but reloading it with fresh material is half the fun.
6/5 two-tone pencil cases
loose raffle tickets —> Empty weed containers
They take up more space than they’re probably worth, and I’ve got to hold onto them until I have enough to cash in for something valuable (a homework pass or discounted bud). They become useless at the end of the 6 weeks/if I ever change weed services but I can’t throw them away because bby loves a deal.
3/5 The Sims’ extension packs
Here’s to the stash.